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Managing Anger


If your child can't tell you in words, they will often use their behaviour to let you know how they are feeling.  A young person who is feeling angry may:-


  • be outwardly aggressive -acting aggressively towards other people, including shouting, hitting or breaking things
  • be inwardly aggressive - hurting themselves, for example by self-harming, or being vert self-critical
  • be passively aggressive -withdrawing, ignoring people, being sarcastic or sulking
  • feel things in their body like a racing heart, feeling hot or tensing their muscles - for example clenching their fists
  • seem tense, unable to relax or easily irritated
  • find it difficult to concentrate


Underneath these behaviours, a young person who seems very angry may also be feeling things like fear, stress, sadness, hurt or worry - or might be struggling to cope with a difficult experience at school, at home or in another part of their life they they feel unable to talk about.


It can be helpful to remember that a person who is feeling angry a lot of the time probably is not feeling very happy - and while it might be obvious, what they often need is support.


Supporting children and young people to put their feelings into words can help them to feel less overwhelming, making it less likely that they will need to act out.